Come to think of it...

Reading news and blog-hopping and basically just wasting time on the net has become me favourite past-time lately. Its like even though I know that I have to do something.... if I have a fair bit of time to do it ; then I'll just leave it till the last minute. I can't just finish it off and then crash on my couch with the laptop!
I boast to myself, 'I thrive under pressure'- when I'm running out of time and there is no escaping!
*rolling eyes to the ceiling*

Like today...I'm doing my washing. Its raining like anything, but like a nut-case I started with my laundry when I woke up. Now, half the clothes are waiting in the basket to be hung dry, the other half are either in the washer/spinner/just piled on the floor! And here I am, writing a post on my blog!
How do I end up with so much laundry in just 7 days anyways?! Not like I'm changing every few hours or anything..(ok I am, from my work suit to my night-suit, but thats it!)
So who else could it be?
Suraj!! Ya...has to be him!! *evil grin*

Just like me when I came to Oz five years ago... young, vulnerable and inncocent, he is searching for a new life. You know what I mean...?!
A life away from all that you've ever known. Getting into a rhythm thats not your own, into a lifecycle that dosen't fit strightaway. There have been a few crying sessions on the phone. How I used to cry myself!

Actually, I didn't cry for the first few months..even though didi started sulking in the first week I remember. Coming to Oz had been completely Dad's and my doing. Didi had to accompany me coz after finishing her Masters in Eng.Literature, she had nothing better to do. She came against her will. So she had every reason to whine and complain. I was 17 then, looking around, lost and confused (only at times!) taking everything in. Pretending to be bolder than I actually felt inside.

I broke down on the day all my friends were going to 'Dandiya'. All dressed up, they were ready to leave and after taking out my salwar suit (as I hadn't been proactive enough to envision the future and get my 'ghagra choli'!) I just started crying. Missing Mom, how she would help dress me up. I didn't even know how to put my eyeliner or lipstick!!
Had been a tomboy all my life and whenever any traditional occasion came Mummy would take up the challenge and help me look my 'girlie' best!! :D

So three months in the new country, in a new city, in a new house, with new friends - I cried, cried my eyes out!
Didi remarked, 'What are you crying for? You wanted to come here!'
'But they are my parents! They should have known better, they should have stopped me, never let me come!!', I cried.
---------------
And like a silly-billy I haven't been to a single dandiya since! The memory just makes me squirm inside, 'Nah! I'm better off at home, watching TV.'

*sigh*
He will find his pace, like I have.

When I try to think what would my life have been like if I had stayed in India, continued the Engineering coachings with friends.....what would I have done; where would I be today?!
~blank~
I have no idea. Its like the alternate world, where my choices would have concluded to a different outcome.

Don't you feel the same sometimes? Where would you have been today, if you would have done something differently? Chosen a different path?


P.S. - btw, I came across this great photoblog called 'Utata: The serial photography of Catherine Jaimeson'. Great pictures. A must see if you are into that kinda stuff. Adding to the blog's 'Good Stuff' section below.