Wednesday, February 2

Come to think of it...

Reading news and blog-hopping and basically just wasting time on the net has become me favourite past-time lately. Its like even though I know that I have to do something.... if I have a fair bit of time to do it ; then I'll just leave it till the last minute. I can't just finish it off and then crash on my couch with the laptop!
I boast to myself, 'I thrive under pressure'- when I'm running out of time and there is no escaping!
*rolling eyes to the ceiling*

Like today...I'm doing my washing. Its raining like anything, but like a nut-case I started with my laundry when I woke up. Now, half the clothes are waiting in the basket to be hung dry, the other half are either in the washer/spinner/just piled on the floor! And here I am, writing a post on my blog!
How do I end up with so much laundry in just 7 days anyways?! Not like I'm changing every few hours or anything..(ok I am, from my work suit to my night-suit, but thats it!)
So who else could it be?
Suraj!! Ya...has to be him!! *evil grin*

Just like me when I came to Oz five years ago... young, vulnerable and inncocent, he is searching for a new life. You know what I mean...?!
A life away from all that you've ever known. Getting into a rhythm thats not your own, into a lifecycle that dosen't fit strightaway. There have been a few crying sessions on the phone. How I used to cry myself!

Actually, I didn't cry for the first few months..even though didi started sulking in the first week I remember. Coming to Oz had been completely Dad's and my doing. Didi had to accompany me coz after finishing her Masters in Eng.Literature, she had nothing better to do. She came against her will. So she had every reason to whine and complain. I was 17 then, looking around, lost and confused (only at times!) taking everything in. Pretending to be bolder than I actually felt inside.

I broke down on the day all my friends were going to 'Dandiya'. All dressed up, they were ready to leave and after taking out my salwar suit (as I hadn't been proactive enough to envision the future and get my 'ghagra choli'!) I just started crying. Missing Mom, how she would help dress me up. I didn't even know how to put my eyeliner or lipstick!!
Had been a tomboy all my life and whenever any traditional occasion came Mummy would take up the challenge and help me look my 'girlie' best!! :D

So three months in the new country, in a new city, in a new house, with new friends - I cried, cried my eyes out!
Didi remarked, 'What are you crying for? You wanted to come here!'
'But they are my parents! They should have known better, they should have stopped me, never let me come!!', I cried.
---------------
And like a silly-billy I haven't been to a single dandiya since! The memory just makes me squirm inside, 'Nah! I'm better off at home, watching TV.'

*sigh*
He will find his pace, like I have.

When I try to think what would my life have been like if I had stayed in India, continued the Engineering coachings with friends.....what would I have done; where would I be today?!
~blank~
I have no idea. Its like the alternate world, where my choices would have concluded to a different outcome.

Don't you feel the same sometimes? Where would you have been today, if you would have done something differently? Chosen a different path?


P.S. - btw, I came across this great photoblog called 'Utata: The serial photography of Catherine Jaimeson'. Great pictures. A must see if you are into that kinda stuff. Adding to the blog's 'Good Stuff' section below.

18 comments:

shub said...

awwwww....such a lovely post! :-)
well, i guess i might be faced with the same decision of leavin my nest and going to another country for a coupla years if things fall into place...
and constantly i keep asking myself...do i really want to? will it be worth it?
boy...this comment is becoming a post in itself! :)

Nupur said...

@Shub: Yeah..its not easy. However much every one at home might think that I'm enjoying the life, the independence etc. Its all good, but at the end of the day... yaad to aati hi hai. If everyone was here with me, (like a few friends have!) it would not have been so hard!
So, go ahead, coz the experience will be invaluable. Difficult at times, but worth it all!!

And I don't mind a post in reply to a post! Keeps the circle going!! :D

Surinder said...

awww ... come here and we will take u to dandiya ..

i guess u need a hug too :)

*hugggsssss*

Anbu said...

Blogg n browsing are such a addiction that everything else just seems mundane...we can expect rehabilation centers for blog-hopping addiction soon.

Sumit said...

Well, it happens all the time. Especially when the chips are down, I do think had I taken a different road, I would have ended up somewhere else.. But the roads keep changin... like my moods..

Ricky said...

Hey Nupur,

Yea, I start my day by reading news and end it on some blog usually. It's such an addiction (My homepage is my damn blog for god's sake).

I never have too many clothes for washing (Oh i forgot to mention that I am a guy...yipeedo do). Don't blame poor Suraj...ha ha.

You raised a very interesting question. What would my life would have been if I had stayed back in India. Let's see hmm...in India I was working and here I am back to school...I guess I would have settled much earlier there but then I think maybe 5 years down the line I maybe more successful here...who knows??

Ricky
http://seventeentomatoes.rediffblogs.com/

Nupur said...

@Surinder: Thanks..! :D
Yaa...I miss dandiya..I miss Diwali..I miss the festivals and everything that goes with it! :I
I just need to visit home..and soon!!

@Anbu: :) yaa..and we can be the first ones. haina?

Nupur said...

@Sumit: Roads and Moods!! *sigh*
Where is the destination...?!

@Ricky: Ur blog is ur homepage?! Ok... Mr. you sure need help! ;)
U a guy! I never would have guessed!!
How is it like...going back to uni? I don't think that I'll be back in uni for a while...'long' while. Only when my employers pay for my Masters ..may be!!

manuscrypts said...

that choice and the resultant you exists somewhere in a parallel universe :)

puneetworld.indiablogs.org said...

Even I like blog hopping and reading blogs.. I mean .. a blog says so much about .. someone whom u don’t even know ….we can come to know so easily…… it makes you connect to so many people and .. meet new people, idea…

Hey nupur thanks for sharing your feelings….. Its so nice.. to read your views .. knowing when I might have to go through … that …. missing home and all… I mean … people realize important of thing…. Once when they aren’t around.. and if they are around they are taken for granted…

Can say my example…Like mom running with breakfast when .. I am getting late in morning and I would prefer skiping my breakfast and not miss the class… but after few months I would be missing the same ghar ka khana…and cribbing for it…( if I decide ) … life is ironic…

Few decisions are so hard …. To take

Study abroad is one of the important decision in life… and one hard o. making decision knowing when .. its goona have its repercussion .. on ones life through out … I wish there was a time machine invented /..;)

With regards to

--------------------------------------------------------
“Don't you feel the same sometimes? Where would you have been today, if you would have done something differently? Chosen a different path?”
--------------------------------------------------------

well right now… at the junction with so many roads.. going… probably you were at it some years ago….. :-p I can answer your this question … say after 2 years… lol…

Glad I came across your Blog… because there so many things which you write I can connect to .. or say feel would.. be able to connect to latter…….

Damn I just went writing on and on and on…. Couldn’t stop.,…..

Ricky said...

Hey Nupur,

Yea, my homepage was "google" before but then I was told I had a searching-addiction, so I changed it but now I am registered at Anoynomous-Blogger (AB-Therapy group for blog-addictors...wanna join?)...;)

Was the "guy" remark sarcastic??..Ok I take it that way...lol.

Yea, I am doing my second bachelor's in Computer Sc and business after doing my Engg. back in India...*sigh*

Ricky
http://seventeentomatoes.rediffblogs.com/

Nupur said...

@Manu: Yaa, the alternate universe. Reminds me of Richard Bach's - The One. Its a great book about Bach and his wife Leslie "catapulted into an alternate world in which they exist simultaneously in many different incarnations. 'These little homilies can either be uplifting or mightily boring, depending on the reader's point of view' wrote PW.
You just might like it I think, Manu.

Nupur said...

@Puneet: Yes, I myself didn't realise I would get so addicted to it... and then it was too late! :)

Blogs do seem to be 'at times' like people's personal diaries that are now visible to the rest of the world. I don't know if thats a boon or a curse of these times!!! Probably depends how you look at it. yeah..?!

Family - that is the most complicated thing ever, one day you might want to strangle your bro/sis to death, the other day you miss 'em like hell!! Just too...too complicated.

Studying overseas or even just away from family in a different city is a whole diff. experience. Its amazing what you discover about yourself and about people around you. It can be the hardest thing you'll do but if you get the opportunity I would suggest to take the leap - in faith!

Nupur said...

@Puneet: I'm glad you find my mumbo-jumbo interesting/useful! Kissi ke to kaam aayi!!! :D

And like I said before to Shub, a post in reply to a post is perfectly OK with me. ;)

@Ricky: AB - I will have to research abt it and then can I let you know? ;)
Second Bachelors..??? :O You are brave my friend...very very brave indeed.

Ricky said...

Hey Nupur,

Yea either brave or an idiot, only time will tell...

Ricky - the idiotically bravest one...
http://seventeentomatoes.rediffblogs.com/

Nupur said...

@Ricky: :D Yaa... time will tell.
I couldn't do a 2nd bach. I can tell u that. I dont have any intentions of doing a Masters either. Not yet. I want to do Microsoft and Domino certifications and then keep working and get all the experience. Later in a coupla years if my employers pay for it, then I'll do my Masters.
Thats the plan at the moment. Dunno what might happen tho'!

Ricky said...

Hi Nupur,

Best of Luck in whatever you do. We all have to chart our own destiny somehow, hope yours is more than you ever expected.

Ricky
http://seventeentomatoes.rediffblogs.com/

Nupur said...

@Ricky: Thanks! :D
And all the very best to you too!!!