Saturday, April 30

long lost........ love?!

It doesn't even matter now....

Your very presence in the room,
used to give me goosebumps,
my heart would beat a little faster,
my breath coming in small puffs.

I would wait to see you look at me,
and then look away, pretending you didn't,
then you would talk to your friends,
while my girl friends would tease me - to no end.

It took me months to sum up the courage,
to talk to you for a moment,
to pretend to not look at you,
while eyes were at nothing else but you.

I couldn't understand what it was,
was it a silly infatuation,
a little fancy I had taken,
about to dissapear into thin air?



And then the winds of time changed,
for Destiny she loves to joke with us mortals,
she chose that I should go where you wont,
she chose that you would go where I don't.


And years have gone by, and I stare out at the moon;
A pyramid - that sees ages go by,
not knowing if its purpose has been fulfilled,
Should it crumble down to peices or stand for another century?


I have not crumbled to pieces I think,
I have just taken a new form, a new shape,
for I did not have the virtue of patience,
or the audacity to just fall.

The random thought still comes at times,
when I think where you are,
what you must be doing....
when a day just like today comes by.


You must have found your soul mate,
surely, just like I have.
Does she keep you happy?
Does she make you laugh?

Is she beautiful?
More than I am....


Do you even think of me? Ever?
Ever think of those times we shared - or didn't.
Of how it would have been,
only if we had taken the step.


I wish you have grown into an ugly bald guy,
with lots and lots of acne.
I wish that your girl is not any more prettier than me.

I wish I get to see you someday.
And then, I'll feel better.
That yes... I'm better off.


But you know what....
this is one of those rare days.
When I'm thinking of you,
but I don't fell the same.

I'm happy and content with my life,
and I can think of you without feeling sad.
I hope you feel the same....
that you are happy and content with yours.

Because it doesn't even matter now,
what you are.. what you do....


*although it'll be nice to know,
if you think of all this too!
I hope you'll get jealous when you see me!!*

but ofcourse -
It doesn't even matter now.......

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