long lost........ love?!

It doesn't even matter now....

Your very presence in the room,
used to give me goosebumps,
my heart would beat a little faster,
my breath coming in small puffs.

I would wait to see you look at me,
and then look away, pretending you didn't,
then you would talk to your friends,
while my girl friends would tease me - to no end.

It took me months to sum up the courage,
to talk to you for a moment,
to pretend to not look at you,
while eyes were at nothing else but you.

I couldn't understand what it was,
was it a silly infatuation,
a little fancy I had taken,
about to dissapear into thin air?

And then the winds of time changed,
for Destiny she loves to joke with us mortals,
she chose that I should go where you wont,
she chose that you would go where I don't.


And years have gone by, and I stare out at the moon;
A pyramid - that sees ages go by,
not knowing if its purpose has been fulfilled,
Should it crumble down to peices or stand for another century?

I have not crumbled to pieces I think,
I have just taken a new form, a new shape,
for I did not have the virtue of patience,
or the audacity to just fall.

The random thought still comes at times,
when I think where you are,
what you must be doing....
when a day just like today comes by.

You must have found your soul mate,
surely, just like I have.
Does she keep you happy?
Does she make you laugh?

Is she beautiful?
More than I am....

Do you even think of me? Ever?
Ever think of those times we shared - or didn't.
Of how it would have been,
only if we had taken the step.

I wish you have grown into an ugly bald guy,
with lots and lots of acne.
I wish that your girl is not any more prettier than me.

I wish I get to see you someday.
And then, I'll feel better.
That yes... I'm better off.

But you know what....
this is one of those rare days.
When I'm thinking of you,
but I don't fell the same.

I'm happy and content with my life,
and I can think of you without feeling sad.
I hope you feel the same....
that you are happy and content with yours.

Because it doesn't even matter now,
what you are.. what you do....

*although it'll be nice to know,
if you think of all this too!
I hope you'll get jealous when you see me!!*

but ofcourse -
It doesn't even matter now.......

garnish...from all directions.

I saw my little Shiru get his massage today at 1.30am on the webcam! :D The little chimp has started rolling on his back already!!

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Just heard that Miss Rai was on Oprah. She seemed to look a bit better than she did on Letterman and she didn't embarass herself again this time either - though her giggles seemed to never stop! She gave Oprah a sari and thinking about how much money she makes, I really think that she could have got a sari bit better than that!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

My exam timetable is out. 2 exams on 7th June and 2 on 17th June!! So..exam from morning till evening both the day. I wish they had clashed on the same time or something so they could get changed sumhow!! *sulk!*

********************************

The biggest passenger plane, Airbus A380, took its maiden flight today. Oh! beautiful!! *Does that mean that once these huge monsters are in business Qantas will reduce the airfares or the smaller planes to let broke students like me visit home regularly??!* - I wish!!

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And we have begun - preparations in the kitchen!!

excellent start to the weekend!

Just what I needed - a *bangin'* start to my weekend!!

This morning, round half past eight, when I was *deep* in my slumber (dreaming about my tutors laughing on my face as I struggle with my books and assignments!), the glass shade over my ceiling light slammed on the floor and shattered to pieces!! I woke up shocked, my first thought that the crazy tutors were throwing things around my room..! :O
Even the carpet on the floor couldn't stop the glass from breaking to bits and flying to every corner of the room - Thank God my bed is at the corner and not right under the light! *phew!*

I called my property manager - what if its saturday morning?! - and the girl said, "The light still works right?"
*umm...yeah?!*
"So its not an emergency. Send us the details of the damage in writing and we'll send someone to fix it sometime next week."

.......my head under that light would have been an emergency..eh?!

----------------------------

In other news-
-- Treating my right arm with loads of balm each night.. almost healed *I hope!*
-- The third toe still hurts...damn the cold! coz wounds hurt more in winters!!
-- I got through that day in that warm woollen tee - after quite a bit of embarrasment.... *Weather Channel - oh why did I forget you??!*
-- The test went brilliantly! I forgot my calci - not allowed to use mobile - and so struggled with my fingers counting 17+56 - so dumb that I actually began with 56 and went counting on my fingers till I reach the 17th square on my fingers! -- du'uh!!!

Honestly I have become soooo bad with numbers - its not funny! I rely so badly on calculators that I dont even trust my own calculations, I recheck it on the calculator - the digital numbers giving me confirmation!!

Now... weekend till Monday! But have to work on my Digital Imaging excercises - Photoshop, my idea of relaxation from the crazy programming and networking subjects.

Now more than ever I believe in the saying - This too, shall pass!! Years of labor and finally the bachelors is at its last 2 months..... almost there Nupur!! Almost there......

Hows ur weekend coming along? Any exciting plans??

Just one of those days...

you know...

-- Right arm in pain *had a RSI scare!!*
-- Hurt my foot on the door of my closet while looking for something in the dark last night! still hurts... so wore the old pair of shoes. They look horrible!
-- Was freezing in the morning so wore a thick warm tee instead of a business shirt, now its beautiful n sunny and I'm sweating!!
-- Have a test at uni after work, not prepared.

Just one of those days.....

at random!

Some things that caught my eye -

• Padmasree Warrior has become the new Chief Technology Officer (CTO) of the $31-billion Motorola Inc.

-- Some one making it big and earning so much respect + $$ is surely a source of inspiration!!

• Pakistani fans got crappy treatment at the Green Park in Kanpur during the weekend match....bad seats, bad view, no food/drink stalls near by.
  

-- What happened to my home town? We are famous for our Kanpuriya hospitality. I am dissapointed to read that. What if it was the Pakistanis?!

--------------------------------

While writing the above two points I had this flash - that this has happened before! This same screen, my typing this post, this bottle of water next to the monitor right there, the phone ringing, the sticky post-its on the screen even the thought that this has happened before!!

And I'm sure many of us have had that, often in our day to day life, when a scene seems like action replay!!
I wonder what the scientific fact behind it is.
Can I see the future? Did I dream it? OR you are just saying "What the...."!

--------------------------------

For some unknown reason I have that stupid song from the movie 'Page 3' in my head.
"Kua maan doob jaaungi!" - "(I'm) Going to drown in the well!"

*I wonder - if that's my future!*
:D

Ridiculous - I know!!!! Pathetic isn't it??!
"Nupur, get a life!"

OMG!

Where on earth have you been girl?! What have you been upto??!

I could say that I'm taking a breather... but the truth is that even after cutting time out from my online schedule like everything else... there still isn't enough time to breathe!
Gosh!! There are are only so many hours in a day and there is soooooo much that's got to be done.

To make the long story short - I have been churning in the hours. Work for uni + work + personal life and still... it doesn't seem enough. I still end up thinking, if only I could do this more, if only I could do that better.... if only!!!
And then one day you come online to blog and find, OMG! so many days have passed and now all the stuff that I wanted to rant about... has all, but lost its sting! *sigh* *long deep sigh*

Synopsis -

• 2 assigments due last week.
• 3 assignments due this week.
• 1 test next week.
• Trip to Canberra last weekend.
• Trip to the beauty parlor (first one in months!) ;)
• Visit from friends that I hadn't invited since I moved to this place! *yikes*
• New system launch at work - setup + training + deployment.
• One person less in an already busy department - therefore, overtiming almost everyday.

*sigh* and it will be just as crazy in the coming weeks.

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My dear people, pupils of the Kit*chen*blog, I apologise for the delay in publishing my post. But worry you not, it will be here.

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Do you guys believe in superstitions? Because I have been loosing a lot of hair lately - yes, unusually 'lots', so much so that I fear washing them as hands full come in my hands!!! And someone here suggested its because I posted my piccie on the blog with my hair down and could be that people have gone, "Hai!!" !!! makes sense to you?? Yes? No..? May be...?!
I may just chuck my pic one of these days... because you never know!

Ow... a penny! *I better pick it up!*

Knife in one hand and Belan in another...

Fact 1 - I like cooking.
Fact 2 - I like my cooking.
Fact 3 - I am told that others like my cooking.
ok..ok.. Now that we have established that, lets move on shall we?

Fact 4 - I can only cook veg. dishes.
Fact 5 - I love sharing recipes.
Fact 6 - I like learning new dishes.
Fact 7 - I can make North Indian, South Indian, Chinese, Italian, Thai...ummm that's all I can remember right now.

And NO! Fish is not vegetarian thanks.

So, finally to vent my "Masala Venom" I have decided to launch a new blog called "What's Cooking?". I will try n post pics and recipes of things that a student, overseas n away from Mommy's cooking, dares to conjure in her kitchen!!

Do peek in from time to time and say "Hey!"

---------------------------------

Also, posting another pic of my cute Shiru on Kaush's request.


:D He looks quite naughty to me already.... the cutie is just over 3 months old!

It can be miles.....

Nothing beats Mommy's hug and Papa's firm handshake.....
Nothing beats the soft touch of Shiru's blankets with him wrapped in my arms.....
Nothing beats the time spent in the kitchen while Didi demonstrates all the new dishes she has recently learnt/discovered......
Nothing beats the laughter of my sweet girlfriends as we share the cuppa n giggle away at glory.....

Nothing beats it all......

and I know it, and so I kept myself at bay from the luxury of a webcam, coz it just does not seem personal enough, not close enough......

Didi was online last night.. just before midnight. I am hardly ever online for chats but she called and asked me to come.

It was her Sunday morning, jiju was home too, making the 'Sunday Lunch'. Didi said, "Nupur, put on your webcam."
"Didi, I dont have one!"
"Yes, you do, remember the one that ur Jiju had brought when he had visited Oz, I know its still around in my stuff there sumwhere..."

After finding the little thing wrapped in cords and other junk in the deep old forgotten drawer of the closet.
"Oh... but I dont have the drivers, so I cant install it."
"Fine, look for it this week and make sure that I see you on the weekend...I really really want to see you! Well, can you see us? ", didi asked.

And their image appeared.
Shiru had just got up.. and he was cooing and opening his eyes slowly.
Though they were wide open and sort of surprised, *if babies three months old know what being surprised means*, when he was thrust towards the lens of the webcam so that I could get a clear view of his face!

Then didi took him in her arms and kissed him from my side. She looked up and smiled as if saying, "He kisses you back!"

*DAMN!! I need to be there... I wanted to hold that little bundle, the little coochicoo soo bad! I want to twist his ears and I want to pinch his cheeks till they turn red/till he cries - which ever happens first!!*

That just inspired me..and I started googling for the cam drivers. Took to me 3-4 attempts till I found the right one, coz the cam was a little old and its drivers had to find...
But at 2am in the morning, I finally got it up n running!

Man!! I couldn't stop smiling. Part of it was because I looked cute on the screen but also coz I looked quite ok in the middle of the night... *buhhahaha*
And Didi was just as ecstatic as I was, ofcourse the first thing she said was, "Nupur, you look chubby like u've gained some weight!"
:D
"Yeah!! Just a little." ;)

-------------------------------

The distance between us may be miles n miles, but for a few moments last night, I was --this-- close to Didi, Jiju and Shiru!


Now we will meet every weekend!

--------------------------------

I know you must think... its a webcam - old technology - whats the fuss about?!

*sigh* but for sumone who hasn't used her 3G video phone for video calls at all in the 2 years that she has owned it - hunting for drivers + installing a webcam + using it - is a big feat indeed!!

Fools....!!

April Fool's Day is here again, and the good thing about being here down-under is that I dont have cousins and friends making a big April Fool out of me!!
Because no matter how hard I try, I could not get a single person fooled *may be I tried too hard and planned too much that it became obvious!* and I would get fooled easily. They would say, "Who's the first one that fooled you this April Fools'?"
And so it went.....
I am a self-confessed FOOL!!

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Read about the arranged marriage setup thing at Sanaja's blog, and I remembered an incident I heard a while ago.

That there was this chic who was getting arranged with a guy, and the Boy's family came to her place for the initial interview . And before anything else, the first question they asked was,
"Do you follow any of Ekta Kapoor's serials?"
*where did that cum from I dunno!*

The girl after overcoming her initial surprise nodded, "No! I 'm sorry I don't."

And there was a big grin on the faces of all the prospective groom's family memebers. And then one ventured to explain, "Actually we hate her shows and would have not considered much of you if you followed them. There is so much crap in them that we cant stand it at all and would hate to have a daughter-in-law who watches them religously!"

Fair enough??

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Well...... another very crazy week has come to an end.
*sigh* Time to go home........

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Is this what it feels when one goes thru Blogger-Burntout?! Or may be my case is more Work-brunout? Or Uni-burnout?
I better do some workout to counter this burnout!!