(translated: Indian girl on train!)
Armadale Stn: Such a cold morning. I'd rather be sleeping in bed right now.
Toorak Stn: Hmmm.. Oh! Thats a pretty face. And she looks Indian.
Hawsburn Stn: She's looking this way. And now looking away.....
South Yarra Stn: Such arrogance!
Richmond Stn: Hey man, can you move out of the way, I'm trying to look at someone.
Parliament Stn: Bye.
Next morning -
Armadale Stn: I wonder if she'll take this train.
Toorak Stn: Guess not!! :(
Next morning -
Armadale Stn: Zzzzz....
Toorak Stn: I think its her!
Hawsburn Stn: Different coat today. I liked the other one better.
South Yarra Stn: Why is she always standing so close to the last door again? There are empty seats in the middle, sit down woman!
Richmond Stn: Shit! She saw me looking at her!
Parliament Stn: Parliament again.
Next morning -
Armadale Stn: Am I smart or what?! :)
Toorak Stn: Here we go. Come sit here. Hmm... okay the seat opposite me is not bad either. Good that I chose to take last door seat this morning!
Hawksburn Stn: She likes my shoes! ..I think..
South Yarra Stn: She wears the whole thing - boots and gloves n all. I like your style girl.
Richmond Stn: Oh! she's looking this way.. no she's looking past me at the window.
Parliament Stn: Bye bye.
Next morning -
Armadale Stn: Friday..!
Toorak Stn: Hello again.
Hawksburn Stn: :) It sure is a beautiful day today!
South Yarra Stn: She's taking her gloves off...
Richmond Stn: Is it what I think it is? The right finger...?! Oh! Yes!! Oh No!!!
Parliament Stn: Good bye forever! :(
Outside Parliament Stn: :) Silly boy!
Sunday, July 10
Thursday, July 7
Every angle!
Its been a busy first week back at work full-time. Now that uni is over, I am actually enjoying working more *thinking about the $$ that I'll get at the end of the month :D*.
It has not even been a month since I finished uni and I'm having nostalgic thoughts. But no I wont write about how I love my uni and the mind bogling assignments and crazy projects or the frienships that I made and some that broke during uni itself....
I am thinking about motivation! What motivated me then and what is motivating me now?!
Beginning of school -- obviously getting into school was not really my choice and therefore there was hardly a question of motivation in the earliest years that I can remember.
Mid School -- I loved my needle work, English singing and Hindi singing classes. *I used to think at that time that I was the brightest and most melodious chick in the flock! :)*
Year 9/10 -- I had settled on the fact that may be I was not the most beautiful girl in class, but surely I was an all-rounder. *And it was perfect time for revenge from all the ultra fair n beautiful chicks when I was class-captian! :P Used to give them all the "dirty" jobs in class like dusting the black-board, cleaning the teacher's cupboard etc!*
My singing and dancing glory was in full bloom and I actually had fans from junior classes. Had a very good chance at become one of the house captians/school head girl in future!! *imagine that!!*
Year 11/12 -- I missed my opportunity to become vice captian in year 11 by thinking of changing school and hence missing the election week! The rest two years I was miserable... my dreams of leading my house shattered... *regretting why I missed school during that week!* Then I got selected in year 12 to act the lead in the play in my school's 'Centinary Year' celebrations. And that was my time to shine!! *again!* for the last time in school!!
Pre Engineering Screening -- I hated Physics and so was lost in the coaching classes. Didn't know what I was doing in those classes...
End of School -- Year 12 results were out and though I shined in computers with the highest marks, my physics results were predictably not so impressive. I knew I was not getting into any engineering uni ever - looking at how I could not 'get' Physics at all! *Why did I have to give entrance exam in physics when all I want to do is Program in C++ ?!* I needed a uni where they could let me study computers without studying Physics.....
Diploma in Oz -- They didn't let me into the uni because I applied late, so I initially came for a diploma instead. I was the only chick in my batch! :O One of the Indian boys who cam eon the saem plane as me left after 5 days because he missed home soo much!!
I found casual work and got top marks in tests - life was breezy!
Uni years in Oz -- Its been a rollercoaster ride, but I'm glad that I chose the degree that I really wanted to do...(unlike some people I know who didn't even know why they chose it and changed after one or two semesters!). Probably the Diploma helped me realise that Multimedia was not for me - * I was not "that" creative as I thought OR rather I cant be creative 24/7*. And I cant program code the rest of my life - I prefer "people-roles" and management stuff!
Right here - right Now -- I just want to do great at work - earn top $$s and make my parents proud. Settle down and decorate a beautiful house near the beach/on the hills with hand made stuff by 'me' and 'IKEA'! :D
-----------------------------------------------
Where are you headed? What do you want to do??
BTW - I can hear 'Italian' from the kitchen.
It has not even been a month since I finished uni and I'm having nostalgic thoughts. But no I wont write about how I love my uni and the mind bogling assignments and crazy projects or the frienships that I made and some that broke during uni itself....
I am thinking about motivation! What motivated me then and what is motivating me now?!
Beginning of school -- obviously getting into school was not really my choice and therefore there was hardly a question of motivation in the earliest years that I can remember.
Mid School -- I loved my needle work, English singing and Hindi singing classes. *I used to think at that time that I was the brightest and most melodious chick in the flock! :)*
Year 9/10 -- I had settled on the fact that may be I was not the most beautiful girl in class, but surely I was an all-rounder. *And it was perfect time for revenge from all the ultra fair n beautiful chicks when I was class-captian! :P Used to give them all the "dirty" jobs in class like dusting the black-board, cleaning the teacher's cupboard etc!*
My singing and dancing glory was in full bloom and I actually had fans from junior classes. Had a very good chance at become one of the house captians/school head girl in future!! *imagine that!!*
Year 11/12 -- I missed my opportunity to become vice captian in year 11 by thinking of changing school and hence missing the election week! The rest two years I was miserable... my dreams of leading my house shattered... *regretting why I missed school during that week!* Then I got selected in year 12 to act the lead in the play in my school's 'Centinary Year' celebrations. And that was my time to shine!! *again!* for the last time in school!!
Pre Engineering Screening -- I hated Physics and so was lost in the coaching classes. Didn't know what I was doing in those classes...
End of School -- Year 12 results were out and though I shined in computers with the highest marks, my physics results were predictably not so impressive. I knew I was not getting into any engineering uni ever - looking at how I could not 'get' Physics at all! *Why did I have to give entrance exam in physics when all I want to do is Program in C++ ?!* I needed a uni where they could let me study computers without studying Physics.....
Diploma in Oz -- They didn't let me into the uni because I applied late, so I initially came for a diploma instead. I was the only chick in my batch! :O One of the Indian boys who cam eon the saem plane as me left after 5 days because he missed home soo much!!
I found casual work and got top marks in tests - life was breezy!
Uni years in Oz -- Its been a rollercoaster ride, but I'm glad that I chose the degree that I really wanted to do...(unlike some people I know who didn't even know why they chose it and changed after one or two semesters!). Probably the Diploma helped me realise that Multimedia was not for me - * I was not "that" creative as I thought OR rather I cant be creative 24/7*. And I cant program code the rest of my life - I prefer "people-roles" and management stuff!
Right here - right Now -- I just want to do great at work - earn top $$s and make my parents proud. Settle down and decorate a beautiful house near the beach/on the hills with hand made stuff by 'me' and 'IKEA'! :D
-----------------------------------------------
Where are you headed? What do you want to do??
BTW - I can hear 'Italian' from the kitchen.
Tuesday, July 5
Story teller.....
(My very first attempt at story-telling!!)
If he were a story teller, he would tell you the story of his life with all the trimmings and details. But that is where the whole problem was... that he could not express himself.
She had appeared in his life a few years ago. And that had also been her doing. It was as if she knew something, a girl's intuition may be! And so they became friends. Met a few times a week, chatting away about school, career, family, and just about anything at all. And that was fine. They were happy.
At the end of their school, he moved to another city to pursue higher studies in a well known university. But they were still in touch. On and off they mailed and chatted....and even spoke on phone. They would catch up when he would return to visit his family during vacations.
It was strangely simple...and completely uncomplicated.
There were rumors about her. That she had found someone. But he did not believe. Ofcourse she would tell him if that were the case. And really.... why would she go and find someone else, they had something just perfect going on here. Or so - he thought to himself.
And one day out of the blue - she called. And confirmed it all. Yes, she had found someone else! Someone she was madly in love with. He congratulated her. "About time!", he said.
He sounded happy for her, she thought. There had not been any dissapointment in his tone. He was happy for her, like a good genuine friend would be.
She smiled to herself. :)
*hmmm..* "So they were all just rumours", she thought. How did her intuition prove wrong, she did not know. But she was happy with her new found love and today - that she had told him all about it and got his reaction, she knew that 'today' she could really move on.
He put down the phone, "DAMN!"
If he were a story teller, he would tell you the story of his life with all the trimmings and details. But that is where the whole problem was... that he could not express himself.
She had appeared in his life a few years ago. And that had also been her doing. It was as if she knew something, a girl's intuition may be! And so they became friends. Met a few times a week, chatting away about school, career, family, and just about anything at all. And that was fine. They were happy.
At the end of their school, he moved to another city to pursue higher studies in a well known university. But they were still in touch. On and off they mailed and chatted....and even spoke on phone. They would catch up when he would return to visit his family during vacations.
It was strangely simple...and completely uncomplicated.
There were rumors about her. That she had found someone. But he did not believe. Ofcourse she would tell him if that were the case. And really.... why would she go and find someone else, they had something just perfect going on here. Or so - he thought to himself.
And one day out of the blue - she called. And confirmed it all. Yes, she had found someone else! Someone she was madly in love with. He congratulated her. "About time!", he said.
He sounded happy for her, she thought. There had not been any dissapointment in his tone. He was happy for her, like a good genuine friend would be.
She smiled to herself. :)
*hmmm..* "So they were all just rumours", she thought. How did her intuition prove wrong, she did not know. But she was happy with her new found love and today - that she had told him all about it and got his reaction, she knew that 'today' she could really move on.
He put down the phone, "DAMN!"
Monday, June 27
Inertia - *Move... d#$% it!!*
- The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.
- Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change.
Today is one of those days when things are out of whack for no reason what so ever! And there is nothing I can do about it either.....
I mean,
- Homesickness is engulfing me like a dark blanket and I cant for the life of me think straight any more.... I want to go home right now and every news/rumor of someone going back to India makes me ache inside. I think - "Take me with you. In your luggage or something...anything!!"
- There are things *I think* 'I need' to buy for myself.... (for a while)... but cant. Because I'm afraid that I'll feel guilty later... that I should have postponed it a bit more. Since when did my bills and financial commitments become more important than "my peace"??
- I have to start working out a plan for my career...what I want to do in the coming months - continue where I am or move on. Being where I have been for almost 5 years.... the thought of leaving is very frightening. I don't remember being interviewed for soooo long!!
And I cant run away, because I know that I'm the kind of person who needs stress to feel alive!! Its ridiculous and its just pricking me from the inside.
There are goals but they seem so far away -- almost out of reach.
There are tasks to be completed -- almost impossible to be finished.
There are things to be said -- almost unable to form them into words.
There are .........oh so many things... -- don't even know where to begin!!
Friday, June 24
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