Monday, February 28

Feeling.....

so tired today!
I had a busy weekend as it was 'his' birthday on Saturday. All the cooking for the little get-together and cleaning up later has made me exhausted!!

so geeky today!
I am occupied with a SQL server database that I had created that saves transactions via an ASP.NET web interface. And the query is not working.

so foolish today!
I can't seem to remember anything... where are the reports I printed on Friday?!

so fit today!
I have worn my dark green suit whose trousers had become tight after a month or so. It fits perfectly again!

so pretty today!
I woke up to a beautiful sunny day and it just feels wonderful~!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O Summer, please stay!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*coz my summer is going away.*
People of the southern hemisphere - Do you share my concern?!
And all you people in the northern hemisphere - Are you ready for spring yet?

Friday, February 25

I just wanna...

ROCK! DJ,
coz you're making me feel alright!!

Happy days are here! *or soo it seems for many of us* And I'm 'happy' for that!! =)
Recently there has been a lot of good news from all sides, including the buddies from Blogsphere! First it was Gaurav - returning from a trip, Shub - with news from family, Pallavi - going on a trip, and finally Arvind - back into the blog world with a BANG!!

*Strange how their post titles are 'Yeeehaaawww!', 'Paaraam Paaraam Paaraa!', 'Deliriously, insanely happy' and 'And the Adventure continues' - wont the title itself bring a smile to your face?!*

Thats the way - aaha aaha - I like it!!!

Me out of my cold n flu! Hey... the way I was busy answering the questionaires, I didn't really let anyone know did I?! ;)

=============================

I was reading an article earlier this week in the Staff Cafetaria on my break named, "Forever Happiness - Are you really happy?", on a local magazine. The writer had an interview with a scientist who had been researching on happiness for the past 20 or so years. I don't remember the exact details..and I tried to find the mag today, but its gone.

Some things in particular that I remember about the results of this scientist's research are -

=> Women are usually happier at age 20-25, while men at 30-35.
Reason: These years are the peak times for their lives.
*really?!*

=> People who are married are generally happier than their unmarried counterparts.
Reason: Marriage makes people 'content and fulfilled'!
*now who was complaining about marriage again?!*

=> People in Switzerland are among the happiest in the world!
Reason: The social and economic life style.
*any Swiss resident looking for someone's hand in marriage? Please contact ASAP!! ;)*

And many such quirky ones. Its a shame that I cant remember any more and that I cant find the article to quote some more.

============================

Now I want to know -
What has made you happy - today ??

Thursday, February 24

Ironing out the creases.

* Phew! I hope it works. *
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Oh Hi!
I was just playing with the comments for my blog. On Shub's suggestion, I have added the HaloScan comments to this blog for those that find it easier to use. Please find them by using the link - hcomment.
I have read all the rave reviews about the blogger comments and how they have improved it now. And I had those all this while and now have a good reason to continue with them. :) Please find them by using the link - bcomment. (copyright Surinder!)

I have changed the Bcomments to appear in a pop-up window. Do you guys reckon that's a good idea?!
Also, I have updated the Bcomments code to say '0 bcomment', '1 bcomment' and 'n bcomments'. You must be thinking what a crazy perfectionist I am... but what to do... I am ... and I like to be this way, particular about - even the smallest of details!! *ho! what a claim!!!* :)

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Thanks to all those that took the challenge and posted their questions. I hope that my answers were satisfactory (or interesting enough!). The post with be open till this weekend (on Sanaja's request) for further questions.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Much talk - about the blog.

These last two days have been a little crazy.
My first week at uni..and being the lucky girl that I am, I have managed to squash my whole timetable into 2 days!! Yes, you read it right, 2 days!!!
So I shall be working on Mon, Tues, Fri and coming to uni on Wed, Thurs and have Saturday and Sunday off!!!!
Yahoooooo!!!!! Lucky...ain't I??

Oh! may be not so lucky. Because of the 2 day uni timetable, I will have awefully long 2 days every week. But I ain't complainin' coz I get enough breaks in between the classes to reboot my brain. (read...Blog!) *giggle*

-+-+-+-+-

Achha, apart from that, another thing that return to uni has brought is the inadvertant meeting with a 'friend' that is no longer a 'friend' any more! *or is she?!*
You know, those people that you part with, on a sour note ( a fight/rude email)...and then bump into all over again!!!

I shall keep the long story short...this is a friend that I used to share an aprtment with after Didi got married and went to US. We had met at uni and it was natural for us to move in together after Didi left, as she didn't have a flatmate either.
All was good for the first few months as we tried to hide our annoyance (due to each others bad habits) with a facade of friendlyness. We didn't want to be rude!

But we all know what that does...
One fine day...the volcano of anger burst out with its full force.
*Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!*
That followed with days, weeks and months of eerie silence....only broken by the seldom, "This week the rent is due!" OR "I have paid the electricity bill and I'll fix it in the balance".

Then when the one year of industry experience was to begin in 2004, she went back to India. (A lot of Indians do that as an easy way out from applying for jobs here - interviewing - working, and return with a phony work experience certificate!)
She sent me an email during the year apologising for her behavior etc. And I had replied that I was sorry too and that there were "No hard feelings!"

Anyways...she is back for the last semester of studies, and when I saw her yesterday, all those bad, bad, bad days came flooding back into my mind. I sat next to her in the first class, smiled at her jokes about the tutor and ignored her politely as she continued to talk while he was talking too. And when I finished my lab task early, I said 'Bye' and left.

I don't know if my behavior was rude and contrary to my own words "No hard feelings" ..?!
I don't know how to behave...its very awkward.

Can we be friends again??
I am sure it wont be the same........

Monday, February 21

And the question wazz..?!

The week has started on a very busy note. The weekend was crazy and didn't even get time to rest really!

And today instead of writing the comings and goings of my life I thought I'd play this game I found on Khushee's blog. As I have asked her 5 questions already, so following the rules, I have to do the same.

Ask me 5 questions.
Any five - no matter how personal, private, or random.

I have to answer them honestly.
I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own journal & you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Geez, I think I may be getting myself into a whole lotta trouble! But hey! I'm a sportsgirl with a sportsman spirit, so people,

BRING IT ON!!!

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

P.S. Depending on the questions, I might leave this post up for a day or two!

Friday, February 18

113 Days..

....and counting!

Thats how many days young this blog is. Before that, I had no idea what blogging was about. Oh! the number reminds me of that Jackie Shroff movie '100 Days'. *where did that come from?*

Probably in my subconcious the movie still lingers on. Do you people remember that movie, where the heroine finds out that her newly wed husband had murdered his elder sister and buried her in the walls of her new home!!
Man, was I scared..!!
It was probably one of the first 'skeleton' movies of my life.. no wonder I never ventured towards my Biology lab at school by myself. It was very freaky. Although I got used to the phony skeleton eventually... but really... I still feel a shiver go down my spine when I think of that movie.

Ok, now that that's off my chest.. back to where we began. Why I mention the count today is because I think its worth noticing that though this blog is just over a hundred days old, it has found me sooo many great mates on the Blogosphere.
Good one indeed! Thank you dear Blog, you certainly ROCK!! :D

--------------------------------

Today was a strange day. I received a mail from HR at work about job opportubities in Dubai. And the strange thing was the fact that I actually considered applying for it! I forwarded the mail to 'him' to see his reaction and he said, yaa go ahead and talk to them and ask for me too!

We both work in the same company, and so the same HR people look after us. So, I spoke to the lady down there and it turned out that the job did not suit my current situation partially and did not suit 'him' at all. The position that we work at, does not have vacancies in Dubai and the positions that are available, we don't have experience for!

So, we left it at that. *Made a mental note to look out for future opportunities.*

Then, heard that while I was off from work on Wed-Thurs, two friends from another department got retrenched! Just out of the blue!!! Honestly, the very first thing that came to my mind was, 'Were they sacked because they were surfing more and working less??!'
*See, probably my subconcious feels guilty about blogging when I have loads to do at work, hmmmm*

There I was, considering another job position thousand miles away and here right under my nose people are losing their jobs. One of them had worked in the company for more than 10 years!! Talk about Job Security.

----------------------------------

Wanted to thank all of you who commented yesterday. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me. And I shall try my level best to meet your expectations.
See, today *after I heard about retrenching, I went to work and worked the rest of the day*, I have come online at 9.30pm after dinner to post just coz I had stuff to post and I didn't want to forget it by tomorrow. (Ricky, I saw the moon on my weather-chick today!! )

:D


Love you people!

Thursday, February 17

As you like it!!

I had got myself to be regular and post a new post everyday for the last week or so. And it is rather nice I must admit... getting you all lovely readers here to comment day after day. And these last few days had been quite interesting as well, a new template, my experiment with my mobile camera then Valentine's etc. So there was something to write..everyday.

And then, yesterday I thought...okay I've replied everyone and so I should think of a new post quickly and put it up... and then... laziness came over me and she said,
"You are putting too much pressure on the lovely readers..expecting them to read your blog and comment in 24hrs! You should take a rest... don't blog today and see how you feel."

So, I packed the laptop and went to the kitchen to make sambhar and the first Dosa of my life! And honestly, I suck! I couldn't make one decent dosa. Its another thing that I gave up after two tries. :) And my dear little bro came to the rescue. He explained very scientifically why my dosas were a disaster. The gas was at a high and the batter was cooking too quickly to spread properly and form a decent circle. So I let him show me what he meant. And man what a dosa he made after cooling the tava with water ....it was perfect really!!

Excited with his first attempt he exclaimed, "I really am doing a wrong degree! I should take up professional cookery or something!!" :)
"But you will have to chop dead animals", I teased.
"Yaa, I could never ever get myself to do that", he admitted.
He will never have to stay hungry thats for sure... (unlike other guys I know! ;)

Well people I ask you now, do you think its a good idea for me to post something everyday? (Read, Do you solemnly swear to come and comment everyday?! :D ) OR Its okay to follow what Lady Laziness commands and post whenever, wherever ???

I promise to comply, as you like it!
=)

Tuesday, February 15

Here and there...everywhere....

Hoping that the 14th of Feb has treated everyone well!

I for myself agreed with the opinion that the day is way too commercialized, but I could not get myself to not celebrate it!! Its another reason to show your loved ones that you love 'em and care for them! Right..??!

So my evening in short,
  • 'He' picked me up from work
  • We drove to the Pizza shop we used to visit as friends (ahem!)
  • Had a little picnic at the beach we used to visit as friends (ahem ahem!!)
  • He surprised me with red roses! (He had never given me roses out of fear/respect of my elder sis who was here previously.)
  • I surprised him with a handwritten card.
  • We walked on the beach bare feet in the sand with the waves at our feet.
  • 10pm. I'm home.

Nice!!

Enough about VDay, its gone and wont be mentioned for the next 300 days atleast.. you have my word.

-------------

Had another dream about India this morning. It happens when my sleep is broken and then I have visions of school, friends, relatives.... and the pattern is disturbing as surrounding are becoming stranger and stranger. I will forget my city in a few months....!! I get up and rush to see my friends picture set on the photo frame, the faces familiar.

------------

My last semester of university is beginning next week. Another 4 months and then I shall graduate! And then....?? I am not sure. I know I don't want to do Masters not yet, not because I have nothing better to do. I would like to pursue a post graduate degree in future when I know what I want.... or when my employers pays for it!!! :D *chuckle*

------------

I would like to have more expendable income. I mean more income to spend (or save!) So, what I am doing right now will not suffice.... should I go searching for opportunities or wait for opportunities to knock my door?? (or slam thru it! *I'd prefer that...hate to miss my chance!*)

-------------

I'm confused..... I'm tired.....

Monday, February 14

People, places and not much else!!

Even my Weather-Chick agrees that love is in the air. Go, see her, its truly in the air!
Before I go any further, let me wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day!


I was sort of hoping,
That you would come along,
Like the answer to a prayer,
And the music to a song.

Like the kind of thing that happens,
At a special place and time,
That will change our lives forever,
Like a fantasy of mine.

The fantasy was there before,
I ever knew your name,
And now that I have found you,
We will never be the same.

So, pardon, if I look at you,
Forgive me if I stare,
At the fantasy I knew before,
I saw you standing there.

For I was always hoping,
That you would come along,
Like the answer to a prayer,
And the music to a song

- Rachel -

A simple little poem I found....like out of a Valentine greeting..huh?! :) I thought its Valentine's, so why not!

As we mark the beginning of another year in our love life, a year gone and a new year to begin. A loved one to cherish or a loved one to find. Whatever your reasons may be to celebrate today or to not celebrate today, Valentine's Day is here anyways.

Read lots of sentimental stuff on the net. One mate put out this touching song with its meaning, thanks Surinder, its beautiful. Another has found the meaning to the names of all his blogger mates, a valentine gift for us all. Thanks Ricky, thats so very sweet of you.
I hope you all have a great day...regardless. I shall look forward to mine as it unfolds.......

Thought I'd thank those who were sweet enough to pin my guestmap. Here's their list, last to first basis -

Archana : Banglore + Bradford, Nice going. Have to visit Blore now that I have lots of old and new friends there.

TwistedFate: UAE - That is my future shopping destination...when I will have enough money to splurge like crazy!!

Fun-Da-Mental: Japan, it must be beautiful there..huh? Any progress with your Japanese?!

Prasad : Another mate from Blore! Hows it going?

~ Prince ~ : Aaliyah, princess, of UK. Give my greeting to the Queen will ya'!

Chaitanya vikas: Pune - never been there either. Gosh, there is so much I have to see in India itself!! Take care...and enjoy!

Shilpa : Mumbhai!!! This is another one in my "Have-to-see" places list. Have fun gurl!!!

Ricky : Vancouver Island - I shall only be able to say its praises when I see it. You a lucky chap!

------------------

Others, humour me, will ya? The map is waiting to be pinned. So please go and do it, while I am still excited about it. Junta - Where art thou??


Guys: Single -> There is plenty of fish out there! *lol*
UnSingles -> Do your best today, if you want to get away easy the coming 364 days!!

Gals: Single -> Watchout for fishermen!!
UnSingles -> Go easy on the chocolates, but not easy on your guy!! After all this day comes once in a year. ;)

Have fun - Be Merry!!!
See you soon.

Friday, February 11

Analogy or Anomaly ?!

A new word got added to my everyday vocabulary today. I call it 'new' because I haven't ever really used in everyday speech.

Analogy - Similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar.

Analogy: Where can I use this word? Analogy...... Analogy......
I think of 'him'. (I have mentioned 'him' too many times recently...Haven't I...?!) Well, I think of 'him' anyways.

'Things that are otherwise dissimilar' - that's us. And still there are similarities. Like:

  • We both like Sci-fi movies.
  • We both like Comedy movies.
  • We both love 'my' cooking!
  • We both like Chillout music.
  • We both like Jagjit Singh.
  • We both love to go on drives...on a rainy day with nice music in the car on a freeway somewhere above 100K..!
  • We both love to travel.
  • We both enjoy each others company.
  • We both have a temper.
  • We both know that when one is angry the other should shutup and let the 'angry devil' calm down.
  • We both are emotional.
  • We both are water signs - hence we both love water: sea, ocean, river, lake, pond...you get the drift...
  • And so on and so forth.....

These are the analogies between our otherwise anomalous relation.

Anomaly - Deviation or departure from the normal or common order, form, or rule.

I say anomaly not because of any obvious differences but because of our very silent, subtle distinctive traits. Things that an outsider may not really be able to notice (you might, after you have read it!). Like:

  • He prefers action movies; I like Romantic ones.
  • He prefers Roti - Sabzi; I like to try different cuisines.
  • He prefers 'WWE'; I like 'Survivor'.
  • He becomes loud when he's angry; I go quiet... simmering inside!
  • He cools down in 2 mins.; If engaged, I have to rant and rave about the topic of discussion and all the topics before that.
  • He says, "Lets forget it"; I say, "Lets talk about it".
  • And the like....

And then, we try to find balance.
Time probably has done that to us. Now every 'roll of the eyes', every 'frown', every 'twitch of a muscle', every 'silence' is recognizable.

Friends we had been..... found, learnt, loved - encouraged/hated - argued. And here we are today, planning a life together. Don't know yet when that day will come when I shall be Mrs. The thought is uplifting and scary all at the same time.
Want it ASAP? Don't think so. Looking forward? Yes, definately.

Why am I becoming all mushy and romantic today......?!
Probably because its 3 days to Valentine's and "Love is in the air!"

Do you think Valentine's is a bad thing? Does it mean that one can get away with 'NOT' being romantic the rest of the year?
OR
For you Valentine's or No Valentine's you are romantic all year round..??!!!

Thursday, February 10

All different me....

Today I have been a good girl.
I did not give into the temptation to come online the first thing when I got up in the morning. Instead I vaccumed the whole apartment, tidied the rooms, made nice lunch (chana masala and pulao) and even did my yoga!
Good girl, Nupur!! :D

And I was going around the place cleaning up, I looked at things and thought how they effect me. ..help me or work for me. So, I took out my mobile and started talking pictures of them all....

I meditate

This is the window in my lounge, open to let the fresh morning breeze in, while I do yoga. The net curtain, didi's choice when she was here in Oz.

I decorate

The bowl of glass beads on my center table. Some friends first thought they were lollies!! ;)

I love

Flowers are my all time favourite, all the special days of my life are incomplete without a fresh bunch of flowers. I am not too fussy about whether its roses or lillies or tulips. Thanks.. ;)

I work

My laptop's desktop. The picture of my little nephew Shriyaan whom we have lovingly nicknamed, "Shiru"!

I laugh

This is well... flowers again, but really, my mood lifts 'always' when I see flowers. So for me Happy = Flowers and Flowers = Happy. Thats why these flowers are cotton ones, for days when I don't have fresh ones around!

I cry

My box of tissues. Need I say more?!

Today you know more about a girl named "Nupur".

And you? When you laugh, cry, work, play...??!!

Wednesday, February 9

I just couldn't wait..

Just like everything else that I rush into - I woke up this morning and thought, "I want a new template".
I have been meaning to get a new one for a while....just to experiment and see, but didn't get an opportunity. So I thought, if I want it so bad, I should do something about it, or stop cringing!!

And so...after a days work, here is the new look. Has the new Doodle board as well. :)
I'm happy now!!

Didn't know anything about CSS, so did a crash-course this afternoon...!! Rushed like crazy coz I wanted the new template sooo bad! And now I don't know if its good or bad, but it will have to do, till I design my very own from scratch. I guess, you have to compromise when you get something from others!

Well...I have so much stuff to do at home as I have done nothing all day except sitting on the net.
See you all tomorrow morning.

Gotta FLY!


Under Construction

Trying to figure out a new template!!!
Not working properly....grrrrr..!!!

Tuesday, February 8

Alright...already!!!

Can I sue the Weather Channel..?! Coz I really really want to!!
This is just ridiculous!

I left home this morning, dressed up, for 22 deg. with 'Rain' as said by the Weather Channel (their slogan - Live by it! *yeah right!*) And now its noon, 12.30pm and guess what the weather is outside..... Still raining like crazy and 12deg. Is there is difference between 22 and 12? I learnt at school that there is a difference of 10!!! 10 degrees!!!
Woh to - I'm lucky. That my work wardrobe is business suit, so atleast I have a warm enough coat but its still bloody Arctic out there! Or should I say Antractic!!!

Last week was Melbourne's highest rainfall in 150 years. Floods everywhere! And temp then had dropped from 33 deg. to 13 deg. in 24 hours. It was my day off so I didn't complain. But today.....! *nodding head in anger*

Cheer up Nupur..Cheer up!!!


In a brighter note, its 6 days to Valentine's day. And persnally I reckon its easier for guys than it is for girls. What do we want?


  • Roses
  • Chocolates - Not too many please. Lite if possible!
  • Soft toys
  • Cards
  • And jo bhi aapki shradhha!

But boys... there is such a limited choice! Rather there is no choice at all. As all the others are given on birthday already. Wallet, Bracelet, Tie ....been there and done all that!

And I am left scratching my head...what should I buy for 'him'..?!! Its not fair, just not fair at all. Guys its high time you start indulging yourself with petty things like us females, things that are easier to find and thus easier to please.

People I need help here!! Boys what would you like for Valentine's? Ladies what are you buying for 'them'??


P.S. I shall advertise yet again! - Everyone I have a new 'Guestmap' which I added on this site yesterday, that I would love you all to stampede with you position pins. :D


Monday, February 7

Oh my golly gosh!!

Anna an Italian lady in Accounts says this a lot, all the time. And that was my first thought when I googled my blog and found that someone somewhere is actually holding/considering shares for it! Don't believe it? Check out my blogshares!

And not just mine...on the bottom of the page are links to other incoming/outgoing links to my blog and thus other blog shares etc. You may realise now that your blog might be worth much more than you actually thought!!! Does that mean we should work harder to make our blogs better or 'who cares'??! ;)


BTW I saw 'Black' yesterday at the cinemas here. And well, I shall not summarise the movie or the story line or anything. Just that when the movie was over, I ran to the Ladies to check to make sure my face hadn't turned black with my mascara only to find that the neckline of my top had my precious tears all over it and anyone looking at me could tell that I had been crying my eyes out!

Good points - Movie was 2 hrs. Short and succinct.
- It has proved yet again that SRK is not the 'God' of Bollywood.

Was so moving that even the gora on the line before mine, who came with an Indian chick, wiped his tears when he got up at the end!
Well done Rani and Amitabh. Love your work!!

So, what movie did you watch on the weekend?!

Sunday, February 6

The other side...

The one thing that I dread, after the tigers/lions from my nightmares, is visit from 'his' friends and family friends that are here in Oz. I dunno why...
Then he jokes, "Not like they're gonna eat you alive!" *yeah! That helps!!*
"No really, you're so sweet and they love you!", he tries to calm me down.

But c'mon! I cant help it. Its not like I like to torture myself or anything!

They are punjabi and their spoken Hindi is not too good. To be fair, they take just as much time to speak a sentence in Hindi as I take to speak one in Punjabi. *ok..ok.. I'm exaggerating just a little bit.*Their Hindi is better than my Punjabi. And the credit goes to Bollywood. IF only they made more punjabi movies that were watchable... I would be completely fluent in Punjabi by now.
And who wants to talk English?! For some strange reason its only 'ok' with uni mates to ramble away in English but other elder people don't always appreciate that. They probably think - "Angrez!!"

So, I smile politely when someone cracks a joke and everyone laughs. I nod as if I understand ever word, I mean I understand most of it, unless a word I've never heard before is used. Then I pretend that I understand. They talk to me in Punjabi and I reply in Hindi.

And it does not end there.
I consider my cooking decent enough. Some of my dishes better than some others. But, I cant even think of making Punjabi stuff! No Chhole - No Rajma - No Daalmakhni etc. Those ladies make much better of all those than me!! It would be impression-suicide!!!! *is that a word, oh! you know what I mean.*
And cant make effortless stuff like aloo-matar, as they only visit me once in a few months. Would seem like I can't even make a small effort.
Ok...fine, I'll make Paneer butter masala!

And after 5 hours... Phew!
*Hugs* "Bye Nupur, it was great. The food was absolutely delicious! My turn next time."
"Thanks" *shy smile!* ;)

They are all nice....but I get so nervous every time! No matter what, they will always be the people from the 'other side'. Or will they?
Until next time...............



Does anyone/anything makes you just as nervous?




Wednesday, February 2

Come to think of it...

Reading news and blog-hopping and basically just wasting time on the net has become me favourite past-time lately. Its like even though I know that I have to do something.... if I have a fair bit of time to do it ; then I'll just leave it till the last minute. I can't just finish it off and then crash on my couch with the laptop!
I boast to myself, 'I thrive under pressure'- when I'm running out of time and there is no escaping!
*rolling eyes to the ceiling*

Like today...I'm doing my washing. Its raining like anything, but like a nut-case I started with my laundry when I woke up. Now, half the clothes are waiting in the basket to be hung dry, the other half are either in the washer/spinner/just piled on the floor! And here I am, writing a post on my blog!
How do I end up with so much laundry in just 7 days anyways?! Not like I'm changing every few hours or anything..(ok I am, from my work suit to my night-suit, but thats it!)
So who else could it be?
Suraj!! Ya...has to be him!! *evil grin*

Just like me when I came to Oz five years ago... young, vulnerable and inncocent, he is searching for a new life. You know what I mean...?!
A life away from all that you've ever known. Getting into a rhythm thats not your own, into a lifecycle that dosen't fit strightaway. There have been a few crying sessions on the phone. How I used to cry myself!

Actually, I didn't cry for the first few months..even though didi started sulking in the first week I remember. Coming to Oz had been completely Dad's and my doing. Didi had to accompany me coz after finishing her Masters in Eng.Literature, she had nothing better to do. She came against her will. So she had every reason to whine and complain. I was 17 then, looking around, lost and confused (only at times!) taking everything in. Pretending to be bolder than I actually felt inside.

I broke down on the day all my friends were going to 'Dandiya'. All dressed up, they were ready to leave and after taking out my salwar suit (as I hadn't been proactive enough to envision the future and get my 'ghagra choli'!) I just started crying. Missing Mom, how she would help dress me up. I didn't even know how to put my eyeliner or lipstick!!
Had been a tomboy all my life and whenever any traditional occasion came Mummy would take up the challenge and help me look my 'girlie' best!! :D

So three months in the new country, in a new city, in a new house, with new friends - I cried, cried my eyes out!
Didi remarked, 'What are you crying for? You wanted to come here!'
'But they are my parents! They should have known better, they should have stopped me, never let me come!!', I cried.
---------------
And like a silly-billy I haven't been to a single dandiya since! The memory just makes me squirm inside, 'Nah! I'm better off at home, watching TV.'

*sigh*
He will find his pace, like I have.

When I try to think what would my life have been like if I had stayed in India, continued the Engineering coachings with friends.....what would I have done; where would I be today?!
~blank~
I have no idea. Its like the alternate world, where my choices would have concluded to a different outcome.

Don't you feel the same sometimes? Where would you have been today, if you would have done something differently? Chosen a different path?


P.S. - btw, I came across this great photoblog called 'Utata: The serial photography of Catherine Jaimeson'. Great pictures. A must see if you are into that kinda stuff. Adding to the blog's 'Good Stuff' section below.